Intro: Dragon Mom versus Tiger mo

4 Jan

The Dragon, a universal creature that is emblazoned in both European and Asian cultures. Moms in both European & Asian culture both try to prepare their children for the battles in life. However, being the first generation in a USA culture that discriminates regardless of lies that are told, the Tiger mom’s methods are out. Most of the mothers who come from foreign or “exotic” cultures had plenty of self confirmation. Many of the moms grew up with friends who had similar experiences to them in their motherlands. If they had TV and media, these mothers were frequently inundated with cultural images of their parent culture. The amount of criticism they received was likened to that of people who were like them in their motherland.

Now, these mothers enter their new realm USA. Parents of the 1st generation can be subject to major identity crisis. They are singled out. And, many parents who typically lie to hide a common social problem, don’t understand just quite how deep an emotional and psychological ravine their children  fall into. Many of these children grow into adults who need to try and “verify” their own image in early adulthood by travelling to Asian countries. Sometimes, this is such an emotionally and psychologically intense experience that the once successful child that the Dragon mom pinned to her ego ceases to live. Mostly, due to frequently high suicide rates among Asians & Asian-Americans who strive for success in the USA. There is little acceptance by the Dragon mom or parents as to why their children did not successfully complete college, university, or their PHD program when it is within a week away. Some outwardly blame their own children and mock them to maintain status in the USA community, rather than take on the blatant responsibility to protect their children through early adulthood.

Sometimes this protection involves participation in the young adult’s life past the age of 18. And, it still involves calling the College or University where their son or daughter attends to keep things in line, yet at a distance. Being a minority “ethnic” group in the USA is another thing that many Dragon mom’s don’t understand or want to accept. Sometimes this will unfortunately include unnecessary and costly legal battles to get their children through higher educational institutions safely. Many minority families can’t afford these battles and so usually the child of the Dragon mom is left to fed for themselves in an unrelenting pit of discrimination, abuse, and being taken advantage of (including assault or pushed to the brink with suicide). Competitive majority & USA domestic dorm mates can also score automatic 4.0gpa if their dorm mate commits suicide.  Being a Dragon and hovering over the child even in early adulthood is of prime importance for success.

Many children of these parents usually begin to do soul searching by the time they reach their mid 20’s. For others looking for answers, this stage happens later and sometimes in the midst of a pressing professional life.

To be continued… and revised 1/4/2012 – 11/23/2016

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